What You’re Learning on This Page
- Why respect creates emotional safety
- How one partner can transform a marriage
- Daily practices of consideration
- The truth about “lucky” marriages
- Practical steps to start today
Why This Works
When one person consistently changes their behaviour, the other person often begins to respond differently too.
This is the secret that transforms marriages.
Consideration and respect create emotional safety. When people feel respected, they open their hearts. When they feel ignored or criticized, they close themselves off.
Every strong marriage is built on these two pillars. Without them, even the most passionate love will struggle to survive.
Emotional safety begins with truly seeing each other as the amazing person they are. Daily respect builds a foundation that lasts decades.
(This MAY not work in a marriage where one spouse is overly controlling the other. For marriages in general, control is a dirty word. If you are a victim, try the consideration & respect strategy. You may have to have that difficult conversation about how you think this control issue is messing up your marriage. If your difficult conversation did not work, keep reading the other lessons to see if you can find something to help you with this issue.)
The Daily Practice of Respect
Respect is not just about avoiding insults. It means actively honouring your partner in ways they can feel every day.
- Listening without interrupting.
- Valuing their opinion even when they disagree
- Never using their weaknesses against them.
When respect becomes a daily habit, arguments begin to change. Disagreements stop feeling like attacks and start becoming opportunities to understand each other better.
A Simple Step to Start Today
You don’t need to overhaul your entire relationship overnight. Transformation happens through small, consistent actions repeated daily.
Choose one small act of consideration today. Maybe you:
- Let your partner finish speaking without interrupting
- Do a chore they usually handle
- Show patience when you feel irritated
Small acts repeated every day build a strong foundation for love that can weather any storm. Small acts of service speak louder than words. Lasting love is a choice, not luck.
Helping Linda with her flowers
Linda has an artistic eye. She occasionally paints a picture, then gets it into a frame and then gets someone to help her hang it in our apartment.
So, I consider her the art director within our marriage. Every spring she directs she directs the purchase and arrangement of the flowers and plants on our deck. This year was no different.
In order to make enough money to match our lifestyle, I have projects to work on. However, in order to keep my desire to try to treat Linda with consideration & respect every minute of every day, I chose to go all out and help her with the deck.
I helped her wash the entire floor of the deck. I went with her to the stores to pick out the flowers. I helped move last year's pots in place to match Linda's artistic desire. I helped to plant all of the flowers. I treated Linda with consideration and respect, she's thrilled with the deck and the rewards for my actions are tremendous.
Luck Has Nothing to Do With It
When people see a couple who are peaceful after many years, they often say, “They’re lucky.” But a strong marriage does not run on luck. It runs on:
- Compromise
- Forgiveness
- Overlooking faults
- Sharing responsibilities
Love does not last because of intense feelings. It lasts because two people choose patience, mercy, giving, and respect again and again.
Trying to fix problems by talking more will not work unless respect is already there. So begin here: Practice consideration and respect, even when it doesn't seem reciprocated. Over time, these habits create safety, peace, and a relationship that continues to grow.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is consideration in marriage?
Consideration means actively thinking about your partner’s feelings, needs, and perspective before acting or speaking. It’s the daily practice of putting their well being alongside your own.
Why is respect important in marriage?
Respect creates emotional safety—the foundation of intimacy. When partners feel respected, they open their hearts. Without respect, even small disagreements can feel like attacks.
How can one partner change a relationship?
When one person consistently shows respect and consideration, it often creates a positive ripple effect. The other partner frequently begins responding differently, even without explicit conversation about the changes.